Ryan Air vs. Delta

I’m coming at y’all straight from the friendly skies. I know I won’t be able to post this until I get to my parent’s house and actually have an internet connection but I figure that if this passes half an hour of this long ass flight, it will be worth it. I’m also giving My Best Friend, Jr. some action. Deaner has been complaining that he is the one that has to use this small computer lately. Did he really think it would be any other way? !

When we first decided to move to Wiesbaden, Deaner told me that the Frankfurt airport was about 20 minutes away from us. There was no way I believed that and I went around telling people that it was at least 45 minutes away. I hate to admit when I’m wrong, but I will. I think we got to the airport in about 18 minutes this morning. HA!

I was so sad to leave Deaner this morning. I know that it is only a week apart but that still seems like a long time to me. I don’t know how military wives and families do it. My sister-in-law is the wife of a Marine Officer and is facing her husband’s THIRD deployment in 2 years. I think that just sucks. Thank a serviceman next time you see one in an airport. It is because of them that we get to enjoy the freedoms that we have. There are two young soldiers on my flight right now returning from Afghanistan and it has been touching to see how many civilians have approached them and thanked them for serving. You can tell how much they appreciate it.

Anyways, before I move forward with the discrepancies between the two airlines in the above title I would like to give you a snippet of the conversation between myself and the woman sitting next to me right now. Yes, my computer screen is angled so she can’t read it. I’d be worried about the guy next to me being able to see it but he has been conked out since we took off. With his mouth WIDE open. Anyways, I’ll preface this conversation by saying that I always choose the window seat. I like to lean my head against the wall and I don’t like to move for other people. As I approached seat 24G I notice that this lady is sitting in my seat. Great. Kindly I tell her that it is my seat but that I would be happy to sit in the aisle (since she clearly had all her stuff arranged in her seat pouch). Ugh. As soon as I sat down, before I even got to call Deaner to say good bye, here is how the conversation went……

Lady: “Where are you from”?
Me: “Atlanta, but I live here, just going home for a visit”.
Lady: “Well, I have been on vacation for 4 weeks”.
Me: “that is nice”. (I’m clearly holding my cell phone waiting to make a call)
Lady: “Yeah, my husband had an affair so I took off. I’ve been in Abu Dhabi, Doha, and Dubai. He doesn’t know where I am. Oh yeah, and I stole $10,000 from him the past 4 weeks”.
Me: Speechless
Lady: “I caught him with some Filipino. He was in a hotel in Dubai and he was stupid enough to use his bank card. I called that hotel up and made the front desk go straight up to his room and hand the phone to him and he was BUSTED”.
Me: “I have to call my husband now to say good-bye” (sorry, the husband reference might have been insensitive)

Pause conversation . Call Deaner. Tell him that I am about to send him an e-mail to tell him what is going on next to me. We say good-bye.

Lady: “I have been married for 12 years. How long have you been married”?
Me: “4 months”
Lady: “And now you are having a baby”?
Me: Queue fire explosions in my eyes. “WHAT”????
Lady: “You are pregnant right”?
Me: “No, most definitely not, thank you” (Now I have a bit of attitude and I am not interested in speaking with this moron anymore)

Pause. Full of rage.
Lady: “I’m probably going to leave my husband eventually but not before I get the rest of the money and clean out the 401k. He doesn’t even expect it”
Me: No response
Lady: “And I told him that if he ever wants to be intimate again he has to get an HIV test. That is not how I roll. I’m only going home to check on my house and then I am leaving again for another trip like this. I’m gonna spend more of his money”.
Me: typing on iphone to Deaner
Lady: “What is the first thing you are going to eat when you get home”?
Me: “I was going to eat Outback but maybe I shouldn’t, since you thought I was pregnant and all”.
Lady: “Yeah! I really did!”
Me: Put on headphones and never spoke again. I don’t plan on it either.

What is wrong with people? Now I have spent the past 4 hours thinking about how I must look really fat. But I certainly know that I don’t look PREGNANT for christ sake! I wear a size 8 or 10 and if that is how pregnant people look, fine with me.

Moving on. Even though I know I won’t. So far this whole flying experience has been lovely. I fly a lot and I am not a particularly nervous flyer. I just don’t typically fly overseas alone for 10 hours with freaks sitting next to me! After about 4 or 5 flights with the local cheap-o airline, Ryan Air, I have come to fully appreciate the luxury of Delta Airlines. First off, it is located at a real live International Airport and not some cargo hanger called Frankfurt-Hahn, when in fact, it is really located 1 hour and 20 minutes from the city of Frankfurt. I actually got to grab breakfast at a Burger King. Not that I am sick to freaking death of Burger King (since we actually have them on the base) but Frankfurt-Hahn has pretty much ZERO options. Secondly, I was able to sit in my seat at the gate until my zone was called to board. This was nothing short of incredible.

Let me explain something about Ryan Air. There are no assigned seats. This means that all seating is first come first serve. This wouldn’t be so bad except that people start lining up about 45 minutes before the idiots that run the place even think about opening the gate to board. I’m always lured into a false sense of relaxation because everyone at the gate sits around leisurely ACTING like they aren’t ready to bolt into the line as soon as the first person gets in the line. It never fails that about 45 minutes before the flight someone walks in and straight up to start the front of the line. Then typically all hell breaks loose. There is a mad dash to get in line. It doesn’t even matter if you are in the front of the line because people will RUN past you to get to the plane first. It makes me a NERVOUS wreck. I was delighted to board this flight knowing that my seat was going to be empty when I arrived at it. Except for the freak was sitting in it. Anyways!

My seat is spacious. It has my own personal TV screen with movies and music and games! I have already watched I Love You, Man with Paul Rudd (who I love). I’m pretty sure my next selection will be 17 Again with Zac Efron. The only slightly irritating part about the TV screen is that it just told me that I only had 6 hours and 29 minutes left on this plane. When I looked again it said 7 hours. That is sort of a bummer. Also, on Delta Airlines, not only are seats assigned, fellow passenger actually STAY IN THEM! Ryan Air turns off the seat belt sign when the plane is practically still vertical and then every person under the age of 30 gets out of their seat and mingles in the ONE aisle. Or over the back of your seat. I have some major issues with them if you can’t tell. Our second to last flight with Ryan Air didn’t take off from Rome until almost 11pm. They left the lights on the whole time. Awful. Of course there were no luxurious eye masks to use!

You know, I guess that is the difference between a $35 ticket and one that cost nearly $900! At any rate, I certainly know how hellish cheap air travel can be, and I am loving Delta right now. Let’s just pray that my bag makes it with me! I’ll let y’all know when I make it!