Monday, July 13, 2009

Ridiculousness

So I wasn't going to call my husband out but in a recent turn of events I feel like I have to. Two ridiculous things in one week warrant being tattled on! First things first. Whenever I wear a pair of jeans for the first time since they have come out of the dryer, I always do squats in the them to loosen them up a bit! I know that every girl reading this knows exactly what I am talking about and I would be willing to bet that most practice this technique themselves. SO, the other day when Deaner and I were getting ready to leave for dinner in Frankfurt with some friends, I headed down to the car ahead of Deaner so I could hit up the ATM first. I was starting to get irritated because he was taking a long time and we had sort of a long drive ahead of us. I didn't notice anything different right away (probably because all Deaner's work pants are exactly the same) but the first words out of his mouth were "You aren't going to believe what I just did". Of course this caught my attention and I got this response:

"Well, I was just upstairs and my pants felt a little tight. I know you always do squats when your jeans come out of the dryer so I decided to try it. And my pants split all the way up my butt"!

WHAT???? Is this some sort of joke?? That was the funniest thing I have heard in a long time! Except for the fact that since we STILL don't have all our clothes yet, Deaner is currently on a three pant rotation! Strike that, I mean TWO now! He told me that there was no saving them and he was right. I have never seen a rip so big! I think I laughed all the way to Frankfurt while Deaner pouted about his pants ripping. The funniest part is that he really hasn't gained any weight but khakis are a lot THINNER than jeans thus a lot more likely to rip. He probably won't be doing that again! I had to add another item to my shopping list for the States!

Which leads me to my second ridiculous story of the week. And this one I truly CANNOT understand. Except this is the second time it has happened! Y'all tell me what you think. Yesterday Deaner graciously offered to help me with the laundry since I do it all the time and I am really quite sick of it. He was going down to the basement gym in the hotel to workout and said that he would put the laundry in the washer, workout, and then move it to the dryer. SA-WEET!! Well, when he came upstairs from working out he told me that the laundry room was pretty crowded and he wasn't able to put in all the clothes at once so we still had a load in the washer, waiting for a dryer.

Innocent enough, right? I told him I would run down and put the load in the dyer while he took a shower. So I head down to do just this. As I opened the door to the FRONT LOADING WASHER I thought it was very odd that I saw the CAP from our bottle of laundry detergent INSIDE the washer. Huh? You can imagine my surprise when I bent over to look inside and actually saw the ENTIRE BOTTLE inside the machine!!!! WTF?? It was a brand new bottle. Never used. I just cannot make myself understand how he accidentally got the whole bottle inside the washer! It is FRONT LOADING and not like the detergent could accidentally fall into the washer once it was going (which is supposedly what happened last time!). Before you go defending him, you put the detergent into the TOP of the machine. The bottle should never go near the opening at all. I just can't believe that the washer didn't overflow with suds..........flooding the ENTIRE hotel.

He claims that he has no clue how this happened and even suggested that we had been "sabotaged". This whole situation makes me laugh except for the fact that a bottle of detergent is like 10 bucks! And now I have to go buy some more tomorrow before I head home or else he won't do laundry the whole time I am gone! After the whole incident he did say that he thinks he prefers me to do the laundry while he is at the office! HA ha!

One more day until I head home! Tomorrow we have to go to Mannheim and sign papers with our financial consultant regarding our house! Then we go to the notary at 5:00 in Wiesbaden! Move in date is set for August 15th. And I PROMISE more house pictures if I have time tomorrow! For now, I hope everyone enjoyed the stories about my comical husband.

10 comments:

Emory said...

I was crying because I was laughing so hard. I can't decide which story is more hilarious...poor Deaner!

New Girl on Post said...

Ha ha! The pants ripping story had me laughing out loud. Poor Deaner

Unknown said...

Well, khaki pants fabric IS thinner than jeans fabric!!

Under this Umbrella said...

That is absolutely hilarious and just made my afternoon. Poor Deaner...tell him that we all appreciate his actions, but are so sorry he lost a pair of khakis in the process.

Men and laundry do not mix. I think they PURPOSELY screw it up so they won't have to do it.

YAY for the countdown to your home trip. Good luck with all of the paper signing...one step closer!

Krista said...

Great stories! I love hearing that other husbands make the same kind of mistakes mine does!

Julie said...

Tears are running down my face from laughing so hard. I needed a good laugh. Thanks

d.a.r. said...

I am crying I am laughing so hard. Poor Deaner!!

Susan said...

hahahahaha! hilarious! only yall

Crazy Shenanigans-JMO said...

Hhahahaah, I do those squats every time! That sucks he ripped his pants. And how did that bottle get in there!!?!?!?!?

Jane said...

Oh my gah! I laughed so hard my sister just walked back to find out what was so funny! :) THANKS!