Monday, October 31, 2011

Balloon Drama

Dear Tacos and Tequilas,
I really love eating in your establishment. You are cheap, fast and loud. A great combination for those of us with 14 month olds. I also really appreciated how you used to ask me if it was okay BEFORE you gave my child a balloon. I'm not sure when this policy changed but I'm going to have to think twice about dining with you if I'm going to have to deal with Evans and a balloon again. Balloons (like the car) do not bring out our best behavior. They cause shrieking, kicking, flailing and discord in general. When we have a ballon we cannot eat, we cannot drink and we cannot be polite. If Evans doesn't sleep tonight, I will also blame that on the balloon. Next time, we would like the choice to politely decline BEFORE you bring it to the table and tie it to the highchair. Please and thank you. I'm sure other patrons will appreciate it if I have the chance to turn it down.

I can't wait to write about Halloween tomorrow. I have to get my aunt's SD card to download the pictures from the nice camera before I can post anything. I can give you a sneak preview. Last year's Halloween didn't really go very well.This year things went a lot more smoothly but we still had our moments where I flashed back to the giraffe!

Friday, October 28, 2011

Crockpot Buffalo Chicken

I've a lot of requests for the recipe of my masterpiece this past week so here it is.

4 boneless skinless chicken breasts
1/2 bottle of Frank's Buffalo wing sauce (do not confuse with the original)
1 packet of dry ranch dressing.

Place chicken in crockpot, sprinkle dressing over chicken and pour Franks on top. Plug crockpot in. Or don't. It's really a personal preference. You can leave chicken all day or it really just needs 6 hours or so. Removed chicken breasts and shred chicken (I take out all the creepy looking parts). Return to juice in pot and add more Franks. Serve on sandwich rolls. Pretty complicated huh?

Thursday, October 27, 2011

My Trailer Park Baby

I must first say that if you are reading from an actual trailer, in a trailer park, I apologize for the reference. However, today when I took this picture of Evans, all I could think about was how he looked like he came straight from a trailer park. I realize that most children in trailer parks do not where monogramed t'shirt (with an elephant that looks amazingly close to the republican icon) but check out all the other issues going on here. First, it look like he has been in a street brawl. I direct your attention to the giant red bump on his forehead. That came from slamming his head directly into my kneecap. On purpose. I'll let you know how my knee turns out. Next I would like to mention the black eye. I can only tell y'all with about 60% certainty that this injury happened on Friday. It happened in my parents bedroom in the vicinity of the windowsill and that's all I got. I heard crying, I ran and there was a bump on the side of Evans' eye. He was fine in about 2.5 minutes but on Monday he woke up with a black eye. I think it ups his street cred. The only thing that then diminishes his street cred is the fact that he has a 12 week old baby girl's binky in his mouth. Which makes his face look rather large and ridiculous. His eyes also look crossed (I can assure y'all that they aren't) and I am allowing him to play with a wire. It was a long day.

We spent the day with my 12 week old baby cousins, Jack and Molly. Evans LOVES the babies and normally cannot stay away from them. Unless of course, his best friend Dylan is there too. Ohhhh, how Evans loves Dylan. Dylan is an 8 year old ginger, just like Evans and they crawl in circles around the house all day long. From the kitchen, to the living room, thru the hallway, across the office and back thru the dining room to the kitchen. This is Evans and Dylan's mutual favorite toy. We have 38974029 toys and this is what they want to play with (I realize it is actually better than the Niagria starch cap).Dylan takes a turn carrying this green rubber thing in his mouth and then Evans takes his turn. They play really well together and I only find this relationship concerning because Dylan, is in fact, a DOG. I do tell Evans to get that toy out of his mouth but I don't often jump up to take it away from him. Dogs are clean, right? At the very least, we do bathe every night.

Thanks for everyone's concern about Evans' pooping. He did in fact poop last night by himself. In the bathtub. It was really awesome. I will be more careful about that tonight.

In other news, while changing one of the twins diapers this morning I happened to glance over at the floor and saw this.Not a great feeling when you are solely responsible for three children under the age of 14 months. I had to quickly recount where everyone was. I ruled out Evans pretty quickly as I could hear him in the kitchen calmly asking to get down from the highchair.In closing today I just want to admit that I really don't buy the parmesan gold fish or chocolate teddy grahams for Evans. I mean, he likes them, if I let him have any...........ever. I just needed to get that off my chest. It's bath time. More tomorrow.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Dog or Boy?

So today has been an interesting day. Evans and I had to take an impromptu trip to the pediatricians office this afternoon. Not for any ailments that a normal child suffers from like an earache or a stomach bug. We had to go to the pediatricians office because Evans couldn't poop. Yes, thats right, he has a rather bad case of constipation. I really thought he would get over it since I've been feeding him prunes and pear juice for a week straight but no luck. I finally drew the line last night when he was pushing so hard I thought his head was going to blow off his shoulders. Anyways, the funny part is this. We were in the waiting area and there were three other children there with their mothers. Evans was being a total showoff and would not sit still on my lap. He wanted to crawl around on the floor like a wild maniac and make everyone laugh at him. Just as he has everyone's attention (I already felt like a bad mother letting him crawl on a doctor's office FLOOR) he leaned right over to my foot and LICKED THE BOTTOM OF MY SHOE. I almost died. Everyone laughed but I am sure they were thinking to themselves that they were glad THEIR children hadn't licked the bottom of their shoe. I guess we will wait and see what diseases he comes down with.

In other news, I am making one of my favorite crock pot recipes tonight, Buffalo chicken. Before going to the doctor with E I made sure that everything was in place and put the crock pot on low. After returning home I happened to glance into the crock pot and realized that the chicken still looked quite raw. And that was because it was raw. The crock pot was not plugged in. The End.

Monday, October 24, 2011

Are you kidding me?

This weekend while we were at the lake house my mom and dad had to run out to the hardware store for some picture hanging screws. The total would have been $0.87 if they had not come home with this new Radio Flyer bike for E! I am sure my dad really appreciated my mom tagging along for the ride. My mom was certain that Evans would be able to sit on the seat and push himself around the house. Negative. She was also sure that he would love the bell on the bike and that it would be easy for him to ring it. Negative. Instead we took turns pushing E around the house on it and Evans even took a turn or two pushing it himself (from the floor). This picture is very misleading. Let me show you what is Evans favorite toy of the day. It is not his new radio flyer. It is not his new Thomas the Train. It is not one of the 39839857 toys that he does own. It is this.Can you tell what it is? That because it is the CAP from the Niagra Falls starch spay can from the laundry room. I have never heard such cackling laughter today from E when I came home and he and my mom were taking turns balancing the yellow cap on their heads. I was sucked into the game for a solid 20 minutes. Displays such as this do not make want to run out and buy the ten most popular toys for Christmas presents. Even though I am sure that I will. I'll just get him a can of starch for his stocking stuffer. :)

This weekend we spent the weekend at Lake Keowee with Buddy and Susie. It was very relaxing. Evans may or may not have been changed out of his pajamas on Saturday into clean pajamas that evening. We had fun riding on the boat with the Budster. Have I ever shared Evans' obsession for anything that he can bat around or spin around? While driving across the lake at considerable speed, Evans leaned over (he was sitting with Buddy) and turned the boat OFF. Nice. It is my understanding that this is not the first time this has happened.Evans also loves to take golf cart rides "driving" the cart.I doubt y'all can tell! Anyways I have to hurry up and dunk E in the tub before dinner is ready so I have to cut this short!

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

A good Tuesday chuckle

So, today my mom had to go out with her decorator and I had to hang out by myself with Evans. Waaaaaaaa. Anyways, Evans and I had lunch and then went to a particular Publix because it is the only one for some reason that carries this certain bottle of wine I like (don't read into this, it's cheap). I also had to buy diapers so my cart looked a bit like a crazed mother. As I was putting my purchases up on the counter and the checkout person was scanning them, she asked to see my I.D. for the wine. They always do this at the grocery store so no big deal but after I showed it to her the big fat old man behind me piped up. He said "can you believe they still card US in the grocery store even though it is so obvious how old WE are"? I capitalized the key words in his question. I looked at him and upon noticing that he was MUCH older than me I was left a bit speechless. He THEN said, with no encouragement, "I mean, I have been carded more since I turned 55 than I ever have in my whole life". Huh. Well buddy, you might be 55 years old and have grey hair but I am only (just) 31 with professionally highlighted hair and I like to think that I was carded on the off chance that I looked 28, 28 being the age they have to card you if you look under. I didn't even know what to say so I just laughed and said "well I am only 10 years over the legal age". Not 24 years over like you. Maybe I need a face lift. :)

The picture above is from Evans' first trip to Burt's Pumpkin Patch on Friday with our friends Katie and Ana Kathryn. Y'all might remember Ana Kathryn from her cake eating abilities at Evans' birthday party back in August.Evans loves her and Katie and I have been friends since kindergarten ever since I accidently invited her to my birthday party thinking she was another Katie I knew. Thank god I made that mistake! We headed up to Burt's on Friday early morning to get there before the crowds and thank goodness we did. I've never seen so many pumpkins before in my life.The kids, as you can see, had a really great time and didn't cry at all.....And were completely cooperative and posed for the camera every time we asked them to!Evans even knows how to "appear" to be standing up alone, but don't worry, he definitely cannot do that yet. Instead we now have a pair of khaki pants that are completely stained from the red mulch. Evans and Ana Kathryn's two highlights from the day were first, not playing with all these 398472384 giant pumpkins, but playing with this miniature gourd...Which Ana Kathryn really thought was a telephone and would put it up to her ear to talk (see, Evans likes to give the illusion that he can stand all on his own but his butt was definitely sitting on that pumpkin). Secondly, they really loved splashing in the rainwater that had collected in the tops of all the pumpkins. This kept them nice, clean and dry.Katie managed to get a couple of cute ones of Evans in the wheelbarrow before he started to think I was abandoning him there.And we even managed to take a hayride without an incidents! Even if Evans did look a little nervous about actually touching the hay.It was a great day and we had beautiful weather. I've heard some people complain about the crowds at Burt's so I would suggest going early and on a weekday if possible because we had a great experience and will probably go back again next year. I won't tell y'all which child but someone did have to wear home the spare pair of pants that I brought along just in case! I'd say that the day was a success!Evans seconds that...

Thursday, October 13, 2011

We might have a problem...

I'm thinking it might be time for Evans and me to have a chat. Apparently this morning (after refusing to take a nap) Susie caught Evans in my bathroom attempting to throw his new Keds into the...............TOILET! I guess that it is time to remember to put the lid down. I can't say that I would be thrilled to find the new $30 shoes floating in the toilet. As you can see, Susie put the toilet seat down but obviously did not take the shoes away from Evans. This is where I found them shortly after he got very quiet. Thank god I was paying attention. What if I had tossed them out with the trash? That would have been awesome. Think that he is trying to tell me something about the shoes?

This afternoon Old Dad and Grandmag came over to play (after refusing the afternoon nap as well) before going out to dinner. Evans was thrilled to see them and would have happily left me in the dust for them. We had a great time playing.And a fun dinner at Taco Mac. Evans even got to eat his first Oreo after his chicken nuggets.He did not want Old Dad and Grandmag to leave and actually cried when we got in the car.(yes, those are long khakis but somehow they still ride up above the knee). Thanks for dinner Old Dad and Grandmag! Come and play with again soon! Tomorrow Evans and I are going to the pumpkin patch with our friends Katie and Ana Kathryn. Since it has been raining for 3 days straight it should make for some really clean dry fun! Can't wait to post those pictures!

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Not at our finest moments.....

This car may have been the best thing that has ever happened to Evans and quite possibly the worst thing that has happened to me (behavior wise). My parents bought Evans this "Cozy Coupe" car and about three weeks ago he discovered that it is the only thing that matters in life. At first, he was happy to just sit in the car and steer the wheel like a wild maniac for about 45 minutes at a time. Then Buddy made the mistake of pushing him in the car one afternoon and it was all downhill from there. Evans has pitched about 5 temper tantrums in his life and 4.5 of them have involved this car. In fact, last week the car had to be put in the garage because Evans could see it through the glass french doors to the back patio and the I suppose the car was taunting him. The car is currently in the house (because it is raining and it really is a design flaw that the "trunk" fills up with water) and today we had another nuclear meltdown over it. I made the mistake of moving the car a couple feet while he was sitting in it and apparently the reminds him too much of his afternoon strolls with Buddy. Of course, we cannot stroll inside the house. You can't really tell in the above picture but Evans was SCREAMING.He crawled under the table and hollered for a solid 5 minutes before abandoning his cause. It was too funny not to take a picture of. I even took a video but I don't know how to upload those. Every time he looked at me he would turn away and scream as if I was evil. Not Evans' finest moment.

Our other great moment of the day was this evening during dinner. Buddy, Susie and I were eating in the den (not normal) and Evans was playing with his toys. There is a case of stairs in the den that lead up to the attic but as Evans cannot walk or climb or do many things for that matter involving mobility, I have never blocked the stairs. Evans is pretty much free to crawl around the whole first floor of my parent's house because over the past few months most things that he could get into have been put away (we still haven't found the hallway night light). Something caught my eye while I was eating and this is what it was.I almost had a heart attack. This kid was scaling the stairs like a mountain climber. He made it all the way to the top in about 4 more seconds. I've never even seen him contemplate climbing the stairs. I guess he has been holding out on me and it is time to put up a gate. Not my finest moment.

Mom - 1
Evans - 1

Time to call it a day!

Friday, October 7, 2011


I cannot yet report that my TB shoes are the most comfortable ever. They still have several more days to live up to their expectation but I'm worried. I no longer feel like I want to die when I put them on but I don't feel like I want to go out walking in them either.

I'm currently in the car heading to Hilton Head. Wooo hoooo! I have a friend getting married there this weekend and it certainly promises to be a good time! Most times with these girls are! Evans is spending the weekend with Buddy and Susie at the lake house and I miss him already!!

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

A whole bunch of nothing

After my tangent on Tory Burch yesterday I never got to post any pictures from our weekend. It wasn't an overly exciting weekend but the weather in Atlanta was perfect. And if you have read any of my posts from this summer you will know that it has been sweltering. Until Saturday morning. Evans and I spent the afternoon in Virginia-Highlands at Battle of the Burgers. 25 Atlanta restaurants (I swear it seemed more like 65) had tents and battled it out for the best tasting burger in the city. I have no clue who won but it was a very tasty event to attend and there was plenty of cold beer. Evans enjoyed quite a few burgers and brews but unfortunately I didn't take a single picture. Really stupid. However I did take this picture of Evans and Buddy enjoying some quality time together on Saturday morning. Evans' favorite toy in this whole house is the television remote control. The only problem is that he only wants the REAL remote, he knows the difference between the TV remote and the DVD player remote, and sometimes it takes us awhile to figure out how to get the channels back to normal. But I'm pretty sure Buddy would let him play with anything as long as he sits with him in his chair and is sweet.

Sunday Evans and I met up with a high school friend of mine and her daughter at the Mount Vernon Fall Festival. This was just a small festival but it was great because it was not crowded, completely free and they had disgusting petting zoo animals that Evans loves so much!He got to wear his new cute pumpkin shirt and I have to say that he had a great time crawling around on the astroturf. Even had a little static in the hair from it!I was a bit shocked that Evans let this lady paint a pumpkin on his face. I did have to hold him a bit firmly. And then I wore the orange paint on my sleeve the rest of the day.Evans and Chloe before we called it a day. I'm not sure how Chloe got in the car with her balloon hat but Evans was very jealous of it. Sunday night we had a family dinner at my parents with my baby cousin Thomas and the twins. Evans and Thomas had a great time playing and it made me laugh several times because I could hear Thomas asking Evans questions and telling him things as if he expected him to respond. Looking cute in their matching pajamas!Today I spent the day babysitting my 9 week old twin cousins as well as Evans. Hmmm. I'm pretty tired. Least I got to spend the day with THREE super cute babies! Now if they could only learn to sleep longer! This picture is a total fake out.Evans loved watching the babies play in their seats.And playing with cousin Thomas' trains.We had a fun day and Evans was in bed by 7:15. Tomorrow I will resume operation stay committed to Tory and perhaps will have something more interesting to write about. I have several sorority sisters flying into Atlanta tomorrow afternoon and we are heading to Hilton Head for a wedding! Should be a fun relaxing weekend! More later!

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Dear Tory Burch,

Dear Tory,
I just could not pass up the opportunity to share this story with my readers. The ridiculousness of what I was told today in your Phipps Plaza store is just too good to let go so easily. I moved back to Atlanta recently and have become very aware that I was lacking in the shoe department. Since your flats seem to be the "it" thing these days I decided that I would bite the bullet and purchase a pair. I feel like I need to preface this by saying that I have never spent this much money on a pair of shoes before in my life but seeing as I've been through a rather rough "patch" (2011) in my life, I thought that I deserved a pair. My mom and I hit up the store yesterday and I picked out the pair I wanted. All was right in the world. Until I wore them for longer than 5 minutes. Oh the pain! I wasn't even aware that my toes could throb like that in such a short period of time. I agonized over my decision in size and searched the internet to find out if they would in fact stretch out in time. Ten minutes later it became clear that I would never be able to endure the "in time" part of that last statement. I meticulously dusted off the soles of my new gold shoes, placed them back in the box and decided that it was going to be absolutely necessary to get the next half size bigger.

I arrived back at Phipps by 10:00am (by the way, stores cannot be bothered to open before 10 in the morning?) to exchange my shoes. The same flamboyant male that helped me yesterday was present (really? Isn't one of the perks of working for a place like this to get the discount? TB does not have any male items) and I told him of my predicament. It went a little something like this (or, exactly word for word).....

Me: "These are the most awful shoes I have ever put on in my life".
Him: "Tell me about it"
Me: "I think I need to try on the next size up or else have my big toe removed"
Him: "Probably best if you have your big toe removed, everyone hates these shoes"
Other Female Salesperson chiming in: "Yeah, so and so has those and she hates them too"
Me: "Huh, no mention of that yesterday"?
Him: "Look, this is the deal. These shoes are cute, they are in and they look good, but if you want to wear them, you have to be committed to them"

Me: Silence

Did this guy really just tell me that I have to commit myself to a pair of shoes that I paid an ungodly amount of money for? Should these shoes not be giving me a personal foot massage every time I put them on? Do people seriously endure this pain all for the glory of having a TB on their toe? By the look of things around Atlanta, I'm assuming they do. So, I quietly packed up my beautiful new shoes and left the store. I slipped them on in the car and hobbled to my 10:45am appointment thinking the whole time "I can do this, I can do this, think of the gold emblem". Listen up Tory, I have now committed myself to your damn shoes so don't make me regret it. I want to be telling people by this time next week that these are the most comfortable things I have ever put on my feet and not that they were a very expensive mistake. I have already picked out what pair I want next......