Friday, February 20, 2009

Snuggie Fever....


Apparently I am one of the last Americans not to own this fantastic new invention. Well, I use the term "fantastic" loosely but the ad campaign has been the source of much humor amongst my friends. I received an e-mail forward this morning from a friend of mine that she had received from a friend of hers. It really had me rolling laughing and I had to share it. I am going to change her husbands name even though I don't even know them myself! Enjoy!

25 Random Things about My Snuggie

1. Richard told me at 4:30am at a bar called the Thirsty Beaver in Charlotte that he had ordered us Snuggies for Valentine’s Day. He was somehow surprised I didn’t remember this the next day. I was drinking those big PBRs – how come I can’t find those in Atlanta?

2. It takes FOREVER for your Snuggie to arrive, Richard ordered it a week before valentines day, and it arrived a week after valentines’s day. 2 weeks. Do you think they are custom made? I wonder if they are made in America. It seems pretty Un-American to have Snuggies made abroad.

3. The stork brings your Snuggie thrice wrapped in a package resembling a trash bag – DO NOT throw this out. Instead, open up plastic garbage bag after bag after bag to find another bag. This contains your Snuggie. It has never been touched by human hands.

4. When you unwrap your Snuggie for the first time – a cardboard box drops out. Throw this out – it is the free book lamp that comes with it.

5. You are supposed to wash your Snuggie before use. I couldn’t wait.

6. I wish I had washed my Snuggie before use because the static cling was unbearable.

7. Our Snuggies dyed our dryer balls red.

8. I made the mistake of doing a white load after the Snuggie first-wash load – and had to bleach them a second time to get the Snuggie red dye off of them.

9. The dog has yet to pee or poop on a Snuggie. This makes our Snuggies the cleanest items in the house.

10. It is near impossible to walk in your Snuggie. Especially if you are 5’4, but even if you are 6’1.

11. I suggested we take our Snuggies to the tailor to get them altered – but Richard said that was taking this a bit far. I think he just doesn’t want to be without his for a couple of days. Maybe I’ll just staple his. Because god knows I can’t sew. I take buttons to our tailor to be put back on. He charges us $5 per button. He thinks he can get away with it because he doesn’t speak English. I’m on to him though. He has to speak enough English to get a business loan.

12. I would love to have the blanket part made into pants. That way you can walk in them and look like Gumby at the same time.

13. Snuggies come in pairs, I’m not sure why - but I guess they figure no one will use them unless they see others doing it too.

14. Snuggies are pretty much just made out of felt. Not good felt. But the kind in Arts and Crafts in Elementary School. They say its fleece, but they are lying.

15. Apparently, and I haven’t verified this, but you can order your Snuggie with pictures on it. Like cats, and beach vistas, and um…more cats.

16. From our living room, you have to go up a flight of stairs to the kitchen, and down a flight of stairs to the bathroom. Stairs & Snuggies do not mix. Neither does bathroom breaks. Please remove your Snuggie upon entering the bathroom. It was designed for reading, changing the channel, and drinking. Not going to the bathroom. It will be there after you get done. And wash your hands.

17. We have leather chairs and sofa. The Snuggie does NOT go around your entire body. So if the leather is cold – you will need a a) second Snuggie to put on backwards, or b) the blanket you had previously been using but hated because it “slipped and slides”.

18. I wonder if they make children sizes. I don’t think so. The ad shows a woman reading (sans free reading light) to a kid, but the kid is wearing the slippy and slidy blanket. That’s just cruel. Why not just also make fun of the kid for not being able to read.

19. Contrary to popular belief, I didn’t ask for a Snuggie. But Richard just knows me THAT well. I probably would have picked another color. Probably blue. Maybe green. Red seems to be the gold standard though.

20. I bet we are on some creepy mailing list for people that order things off of the TV. While I have mad respect for Ron Popeil, I don’t want his crap. Unless I start losing my hair – then I want that spray that covers the bald spot.

21. I can’t believe that I’ve gotten to 21 without once mentioning alcohol. And how we will probably spend most of our Snuggie time drinking it.

22. Sleeping in your Snuggie is probably a recipe in disaster. I think there is a real risk of choking yourself to death. Maybe if you don’t use any other blankets its ok – but why chance it.

23. I think playing Wii in the Snuggies will be interesting. Bowling will be fine, but Tennis… oh Tennis will be a problem.

24. My favorite Snuggie part is the mock-turtleneck. The only person I know who wears a mock-turtleneck is Phil Mickelson. I’m not sure why – it looks terrible. I however, look very good in my Snuggie mock-turtleneck. It hides the double chins.

25. You know everyone on my Christmas list is getting one this year. And considering they come in pairs – my X-mas budget will double. If you get a free reading light – that means I don’t like you.

4 comments:

Emory said...

Well I am with you on not owning one yet...however, after reading this post (and laughing so hard!) I want to get a Snuggie right now!

Casey said...

A snuggie is genius! I hadn't even heard of them until I saw them on Beth Moore's blog, and now yours! They would be perfect for ridiculously cold Germany. You should get one!

Bethell Family said...

uuuuummmm heeelllooo i want a photo of YOU in your snuggie...or even better get a photo of everyone you know that has a snuggie send in a photo...begin with sue. hahah I want a snuggie!!!!

coffee said...

anyone can buy a Snuggie in lieu of having a special someone to snuggle them back