More of the same news

I heard it through the grapevine yesterday that my photographer has shingles. Awesome. She officially has 7 days to recover! The clock is ticking!

Today I decided that I might roughly sketch out the seating arrangements for the rehearsal dinner next Friday. Of course not everyone has RSVPed but I know basically who will be there and I don't want to do be doing this at the last minute. When I asked my future step mother in law (mouthful) she said she was pretty sure that they were going to be tables of 8. Instead of risking the fact that this easily might have been wrong I just e-mailed our contact at the restaurant. In short, my e-mail asked if we were having tables of 8. I waited hours and then I got the response that said.......

"I think tables of will work best for the event that you are having next weekend".

AAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGG. Tables of WHAT?!?!? All I need is that one little number and somehow that was the computer key that was missed!!! Honestly, I am very calm and not really at all put out by this but I am starting to think that this might not be a coincidence that this sort of thing keeps happening!

Mysterious package

Today I was sitting in my office when I got a phone call that I recognized as the Cathedral's main office. I answered (rare) because Deaner and I had a meeting with our priest tonight and I was scared it might be him needing to reschedule. Turns out it was the receptionist at the Church calling to let me know that I had just received a UPS delivery to their front desk. Huh? This is odd. Why in the world would I get a package at the Church? It isn't like I have ever used that address to have something delivered to me. I told the receptionist (Jane) that I had no clue what it was and I couldn't even come up with any ideas. The only things that have been sent to the church on our behalf was our baptismal certificates but that was six months ago. I was tempted to tell her that she could open the package because I was so curious about what it could be. But then I started to get really nervous about what it could be! I'm not sure what I was thinking but it isn't like I was waiting for annulment papers to come through or anything! I told Jane that I had an appointment at the church tonight and that I would pick up whatever it was when I got there.

I literally wracked my brain all day long over this. I have recently heard a horror story of a friend seeking an annulment whose angry ex-wife tried to sabotage him by sending a box full of Girls Gone Wild DVD's to the Catholic Tribunal. Nice. Was there someone out there in the world that hated me and wanted to somehow sabotage me? I realize that this is utterly ridiculous but you will have to excuse my insanity.

So we get to the church tonight and I retrieve my package. I busted out laughing when I opened the mailing envelope and sitting inside were THE WEDDING PROGRAMS!!! Holy crap! Someone (probably just UPS) must have found them somewhere! Being that there was nothing attached to them with an address they looked up the address to the church. Thank GOD the programs said Cathedral of Christ the King, Atlanta, GA. If they hadn't said that, they never would have found their way back to me. And the replacements showed up on my mom's doorstep this afternoon. OH WELL! Now we have 200 programs instead of 100 and that is probably a good thing since we currently have 250 guests attending! Nothing like a little drama.

What the hell?

Today my wedding programs came. This was the last issue that I felt I had looming over my head and I finally bit the bullet and got all the information together. I was thoroughly impressed with the website my mom found and they made it super easy to order them. And when they shipped them, they arrived on the door step in 3 days!! That is where I stopped being impressed. You might ask me at this point if something was wrong with them or if they turned out terribly? Well, I can't be certain because the UPS box was EMPTY!!! Empty I tell you!! Now I wasn't the one that opened the box as they were shipped to my mom's house but she said that who ever packaged them didn't seal the bottom of the box. The packing slip and paper protective filling were all there. No programs. Somewhere in between Atlanta and Alabama (not sure what city) my wedding programs are floating around. Now I feel too guilty to say where I ordered them from because I really did like this company but when I called to let them know about the issue I was a little frustrated by the conversation. Here is a snippet of how it went down:

Rep: Hello, blah blah blah Weddings, how can I help you?
Me: Hi, this is Sarah Gleaton calling. I ordered my wedding programs from your website last week and they just arrived. The problem is that bottom of the box wasn't sealed and the package is empty!
Rep: What? Are you kidding?
Me: Speechless. Does this person REALLY think that I have the TIME and/or CREATIVITY at this point to be calling up her company and JOKING about this? All this was going through my head but I managed to get the words "Umm, no, I am not kidding you".
Rep: Oh my gosh, what do you think happened??
Me: Well, I'm not 100% positive or anything but the bottom of the box being left unsealed is my guess.
Rep: Ok, that is so weird! We are really really sorry. We will reprint your programs right now, ship them overnight, and they will be in your hands by Wednesday.
Me: Ok great, that sounds fine with me. (secretly wanting to say "don't forget to seal the bottom this time).

We hang up the phone and I think that the whole thing is pretty funny. It wouldn't have been funny at all if it was a week later and we didn't have time to re-ship but I was thinking that there was really no reason to freak out. Then my phone at the office rang again. I knew it was this company because of caller I.D.

Rep: Hi, this is so and so again from blah blah blah.
Me: Hi.
Rep: Do you think you could call your mom and ask her to save that UPS box for us? We are really baffled as to how your programs fell out and we want to look at the box.
Me: Speechless. In my head I am thinking about saying..."what is there to be baffled about? Someone didn't seal the box and the freaking programs fell out! Case closed!!" Instead I said "sure, I will call her right now".
Rep: Thanks so much for that! Your programs will be there Wednesday!
Me: Thanks

I hung up the phone again when it dawned on me that I have no clue how exactly how they are going to get their box back. It isn't going to morph back to Alabama and I am certainly not going to take the time to go and ship it back to them! Perhaps they are sending a personal courier to pick it up? Who knows! Ring Ring Ring! Oh my god, you have to be kidding me, maybe they are calling again to let me know how to get the box back to them.

Rep: Hey, it is me again.
Me: Hi. (In my head I am thinking "oh thank god we are such close friends now that you can just say 'hey, it is me again'".
Rep: I'm just calling to confirm that your programs were printed on the Natural Astroparch card stock?
Me: Yes, that is the one we picked.
Rep: Ok thanks, lots of people have been changing their orders because they don't like the way that card stock turns out for their programs and I just wanted to make sure it wasn't you.
Me: Speechless. For real. Are these programs going to suck? Are they ugly? WTF? I truly say nothing at this point.
Rep: Ok, thanks they will be there on Wednesday!
Me: Ok, bye.

WAIT? How do you want me to get your box back to you?!? Oh hell, never mind. I don't care if you get your stinking box back since I am probably going to have the ugliest wedding programs on earth! If they do somehow, by the grace of god, turn out well, I would probably still recommend this company. While this has been a huge debacle they really have corrected the problem quickly. We will just see how well they turn out. I'm going to reserve judgement for now, just wanted to share the story!

Snuggie Fever....

Apparently I am one of the last Americans not to own this fantastic new invention. Well, I use the term "fantastic" loosely but the ad campaign has been the source of much humor amongst my friends. I received an e-mail forward this morning from a friend of mine that she had received from a friend of hers. It really had me rolling laughing and I had to share it. I am going to change her husbands name even though I don't even know them myself! Enjoy!

25 Random Things about My Snuggie

1. Richard told me at 4:30am at a bar called the Thirsty Beaver in Charlotte that he had ordered us Snuggies for Valentine’s Day. He was somehow surprised I didn’t remember this the next day. I was drinking those big PBRs – how come I can’t find those in Atlanta?

2. It takes FOREVER for your Snuggie to arrive, Richard ordered it a week before valentines day, and it arrived a week after valentines’s day. 2 weeks. Do you think they are custom made? I wonder if they are made in America. It seems pretty Un-American to have Snuggies made abroad.

3. The stork brings your Snuggie thrice wrapped in a package resembling a trash bag – DO NOT throw this out. Instead, open up plastic garbage bag after bag after bag to find another bag. This contains your Snuggie. It has never been touched by human hands.

4. When you unwrap your Snuggie for the first time – a cardboard box drops out. Throw this out – it is the free book lamp that comes with it.

5. You are supposed to wash your Snuggie before use. I couldn’t wait.

6. I wish I had washed my Snuggie before use because the static cling was unbearable.

7. Our Snuggies dyed our dryer balls red.

8. I made the mistake of doing a white load after the Snuggie first-wash load – and had to bleach them a second time to get the Snuggie red dye off of them.

9. The dog has yet to pee or poop on a Snuggie. This makes our Snuggies the cleanest items in the house.

10. It is near impossible to walk in your Snuggie. Especially if you are 5’4, but even if you are 6’1.

11. I suggested we take our Snuggies to the tailor to get them altered – but Richard said that was taking this a bit far. I think he just doesn’t want to be without his for a couple of days. Maybe I’ll just staple his. Because god knows I can’t sew. I take buttons to our tailor to be put back on. He charges us $5 per button. He thinks he can get away with it because he doesn’t speak English. I’m on to him though. He has to speak enough English to get a business loan.

12. I would love to have the blanket part made into pants. That way you can walk in them and look like Gumby at the same time.

13. Snuggies come in pairs, I’m not sure why - but I guess they figure no one will use them unless they see others doing it too.

14. Snuggies are pretty much just made out of felt. Not good felt. But the kind in Arts and Crafts in Elementary School. They say its fleece, but they are lying.

15. Apparently, and I haven’t verified this, but you can order your Snuggie with pictures on it. Like cats, and beach vistas, and um…more cats.

16. From our living room, you have to go up a flight of stairs to the kitchen, and down a flight of stairs to the bathroom. Stairs & Snuggies do not mix. Neither does bathroom breaks. Please remove your Snuggie upon entering the bathroom. It was designed for reading, changing the channel, and drinking. Not going to the bathroom. It will be there after you get done. And wash your hands.

17. We have leather chairs and sofa. The Snuggie does NOT go around your entire body. So if the leather is cold – you will need a a) second Snuggie to put on backwards, or b) the blanket you had previously been using but hated because it “slipped and slides”.

18. I wonder if they make children sizes. I don’t think so. The ad shows a woman reading (sans free reading light) to a kid, but the kid is wearing the slippy and slidy blanket. That’s just cruel. Why not just also make fun of the kid for not being able to read.

19. Contrary to popular belief, I didn’t ask for a Snuggie. But Richard just knows me THAT well. I probably would have picked another color. Probably blue. Maybe green. Red seems to be the gold standard though.

20. I bet we are on some creepy mailing list for people that order things off of the TV. While I have mad respect for Ron Popeil, I don’t want his crap. Unless I start losing my hair – then I want that spray that covers the bald spot.

21. I can’t believe that I’ve gotten to 21 without once mentioning alcohol. And how we will probably spend most of our Snuggie time drinking it.

22. Sleeping in your Snuggie is probably a recipe in disaster. I think there is a real risk of choking yourself to death. Maybe if you don’t use any other blankets its ok – but why chance it.

23. I think playing Wii in the Snuggies will be interesting. Bowling will be fine, but Tennis… oh Tennis will be a problem.

24. My favorite Snuggie part is the mock-turtleneck. The only person I know who wears a mock-turtleneck is Phil Mickelson. I’m not sure why – it looks terrible. I however, look very good in my Snuggie mock-turtleneck. It hides the double chins.

25. You know everyone on my Christmas list is getting one this year. And considering they come in pairs – my X-mas budget will double. If you get a free reading light – that means I don’t like you.

Sad day..

This morning we found out that Deaner's (former) step father had a massive heart attack early this morning and passed away. While Deaner's mom and Gene were not married anymore, he had remained a close part of the family and this comes as a shock to all of us. Gene was a funny witty man and he will be greatly missed by all that knew him. And all who knew him can claim they knew the REAL inventor of the patty melt. :) We love you and will miss you everyday Gene!

Done with dancing...

Tonight was our last dance lesson! Our teacher showed up this time and we got it wrapped up! Thank god! Deaner wanted to know if we should tip the guy. Ummmm, no. He actually suggested we take some more lessons. I think y'all can figure out how I responded. All and all the guy was nice enough, dancing just isn't my thing. And my mom had the nerve to say to me "you guys better actually dance well". Well, to that I say, don't hold your breath. I shouldn't have told anyone we were doing these lessons because now they will be expecting something good. At least we picked our song. We are going to be dancing to "Georgia" by Ray Charles. I'm just happy that it is picked. Now I am about to get online and create our wedding program. I'm hoping that it will be the last "bain of my existence" (I know that is not technically the way to use that phrase) but I am sure it won't be!

One more thing! I quit my job last Monday. Does anyone find it odd that today is Wednesday of the FOLLOWING WEEK and I have yet to hear a PEEP out of my big boss? I really shouldn't expect more from her because she has never given me ANY reason to to think she would give a hoot but still. I have worked at that company since it's inception almost four years ago, am one of a handful of veterans, and it doesn't even get acknowledged that I am leaving? Thanks a lot "job". The one thing I will not miss when we move to Germany is that place. Final answer.

Explaining my absence....

I feel like I have been neglecting my blog over the past couple of weeks. I have been so busy that I don't know what to do with myself. Thursday evening my mom's friends hosted an all girls cocktail shower for me. It was insanely nice. Everything was perfect down to the bride, groom, and wedding cake cookie grams the hostesses ordered for me. We had about 40 guests and I got the most amazing things! I will try and post some of them in the next few days. The hostess' house was unbelievable but something tells me that she might not appreciate me posting pictures of it so you will have to imagine! Since Thursday I have been writing thank you notes, running wedding errands, and basically trying to tie up loose ends. I didn't realize that there were so many ends that were still loose!! Since Deaner was away this weekend at his redneck soiree I was able to get several things done. Friday I went shopping and finally found gift bags big enough for Deaner's groomsmen gifts. He is giving soft side coolers that are monogrammed with each groomsmen initials. As it turns out I didn't need to be searching for bags so big in the first place. Geez. At least that is taken care of.

Saturday I went to a wedding shower for another friend of mine who is getting married. I actually felt like I got to visit with some friends that were at my shower that I didn't even get to speak to on Thursday evening! Afterwards I was an awesome fiance and took Deaner's car out to Carmax. The news there was not good and so I think we will be finding a way to take it to Germany with us. I picked up his shoes that were on hold and made a copy of a picture that we are giving to his dad for a wedding gift. Gosh, I am such a helpful person. All these things are things that I am sure Deaner would have "gotten around" to doing but I sleep a bit easier at night knowing they are DONE.

Sunday I woke up, stretched, and tried to open my eyes. No go. Glued shut. It appears I have PINK EYE. Sick! And of course it has to happen on a Sunday when the doctor's office is closed and cannot call me in a prescription for eye drops. Nice. No work for me on Monday. I'd personally like to thank the doctor's office for waiting until 5:30pm on Monday to call in my drops. This morning I woke up to BOTH eyes glued shut. It has been a great two days. Finally, I'm starting to not resemble a vampire anymore. (I know, I have been reading a lot of Twilight lately). I will be back at work tomorrow and will surely be slammed. We had the final walk thru at the Fox this morning and everything looks great. If I could figure out the damn program issue than I would be a lot less stressed out. Do people really care about having a ceremony program?? Don't they know we are getting married?

On the plate for the rest of the week? Since I just finished writing 36 thank you notes and dropped them at the post office maybe I won't get anymore gifts this week! I think I have 5 to do for wedding gifts. Deaner will be helping with those. Tomorrow we have our last dance lesson. I know most of you think that our last lesson was last Monday but Julio didn't bother showing up so we are doomed to one more week. I think we are going to take it easy this weekend and relax. Only two more weekends until the wedding!!!

Valentine's Day.......

Deaner and I decided that we would exchange Valentine's Day gifts on Wednesday night before he left to go out of town on Thursday morning (more on that later). We have never made a huge deal out of valentine's day and I was perfectly content to keep it like that. I have been wanting to buy him a pair of Wallabees for some time now but every time I get online to do it I am appalled at how expensive they are now. Since I am still wearing the pair I suckered my parents into buying me my sophomore year of college maybe I never even realized they were expensive. Anyways, I bought Deaner a pair on a whim on Sunday figuring that they will be good shoes for walking around in our new home town of Wiesbaden. Talk about a great gift. As we were heading to dinner I noticed that all he had for me was a card. I started to get worried that all he got me was a card and that he was really going to feel bad when he saw that I had gotten him this awesome gift. I mean, the shoes were going to be hard to beat anyways but if all I got was a card?? Much to my surprise the card included an hour massage gift certificate to Natural Body Day Spa. Woooo-hoooo! I have been wanting a massage forever!! Back when I thought I was rich I used to get them all the time but that was before I realized that credit cards are not exactly the same as cash. :) I can't wait to use it. Deaner was very excited about his Wallabees. He described them exactly the same way I do, like slipping your feet into a cloud. All and all I am thinking we took Valentine's Day to a new level in our house this year. I have been thinking that we might need to take it down a notch next year.

I bid Deaner farewell this morning and made my way to work. Sometime around noon or so I got a flower delivery!! Whaaaaat? And my favorite flowers at that. Flowers and a massage! Thank god I brought my A-game with the Wallabees. Before you go thinking that I have the most romantic awesome fiance in the world (although he is pretty great) have I mentioned WHY Deaner left town on Thursday morning at the crack of dawn? That would be because apparently it was absolutely 100% necessary that he go on his bachelor party for 5 FULL DAYS! WTF. I can hardly bring myself to tell you where he is but I fear that it makes the story better and that I must. He is with 15 guys (including his father), sleeping in 3 30ft campers, in Daytona Beach, at the Nascar race. I don't want to insult Nascar fans but there are only two words for that.....I'm pretty sure y'all can come up with them! I am not positive why it requires 5 full days of tailgating but I am very positive that I am glad I am not there!

Hopefully I will have time to get several things crossed off my list that is a mile long while Deaner is out of town. I'll be spending Valentine's Day alone and that is honestly alright with me. Of course I prefer that Deaner was home but I'll probably be a lot more productive since he is not. I was telling him before he left all the errands I planned on getting taken care of this weekend and he very casually asked if I could pick up a pair of shoes for him that we picked out last week. Sure, no problem. Then he said, "and as long as you are out that way, maybe you could stop by Carmax and see if you can sell my car for me"? Whaaaat? Shoes yes, car no. The buck stops here! I'm not in the business of selling cars in my spare time. Anyways, how would I get home after I sold it? We will have to take care of that another weekend!

Anyways, I will write more later. I had the MOST fabulous shower last night and the amount of gifts I got was embarrassing. I will try and post about it later today! Also, I quit my job this week! It has been interesting around here since then!

Dancing hell

Tonight was to be the dreaded last dancing lesson. I have dreaded it all day long. Starting around noon I started to feel really sick. Like flu sick. My throat is killing me and my whole body hurts. I don't ever get sick. I think that last time I had the full blown flu I was living in a dorm room in college. So I was not in the best mood as I pulled up to the Ballroom dance place. Our lesson was at 6:00pm. Promptly at 6pm our instructor was not there. Sweet. Less time dancing. 6:10pm no instructor. At 6:15pm I went and asked the front desk only to find that we were not even on the schedule!! WTF? I'm hardly able to stand up long enough for a phone call to be made to Julio to let him know he forgot us. The receptionist hung up and told us that Julio could be here in 10 minutes (approximately 6:25pm) and we could come back another night to make up the 30 minutes or we could reschedule. I doubt that it was subtle when we instantly said we would reschedule. Good luck to Deaner getting me back there. I dodged a bullet tonight but it only seems to have delayed the inevitable. I think I am heading to bed!

On a better note, I resigned from my position at work today. Woooo-hooooo!! I will be working up until the move but then I am outta there. I won't miss it. I might miss human contact, english speaking strangers, and verbal interaction with others, but I will not miss that company!

Thank you blues......

Well, not really "the blues", but I am about to settle in for an afternoon of thank you note writing. Deaner and I had a shower last night hosted by his mom and sister. It was really great and I think that everyone had a fun time. We also got some great gifts! Since I have another shower on Thursday evening hosted by my mom's friends, my goal is to get all the thank you notes out BEFORE I get the next round on Thursday. It is a good thing that I have been buying up cute stationary for months in advance because it goes quickly! I am PRAYING that no one calls to see the condo this afternoon. I'm perfectly comfy on the couch, just turned on DVRed Top Chef, and getting ready to endure hand cramps!

Debacles of the week

This has been one of the busiest weeks yet. I am so happy that it is Friday but I doubt that the weekend will be any less hectic. Monday I had another dress fitting. Thank god, I can finally breathe in the dress. Several more things have to be done but things are looking up. Of course since this went so well it was inevitable that something else would go wrong. When we pulled out my mother's veil to try on with my dress I heard her gasp and turned around to see that the alterations lady (the one that took it off the pill box hat and put it on a comb) had torn it somehow straight up the middle. What a dumbass!! And way to point it out to us when we picked it up. So, the veil has now taken up residence with the dress at Priscilla where it is being treated with "invisible thread".

Tuesday I had dinner with a friend of mine in town for work and it was a blast but was another late night.

Wednesday turned out to be an awesome day as my mom called me at 7:30am and told me that my Aunt had gone into labor!! Yea!! She was set to be induced today but went into labor and headed to the hospital around 3:00 a.m. I was super excited all day waiting for the big news! People always get confused when I call her my Aunt and it is normally followed by "Oh! You mean your cousin"? No people, I know the difference between a "cousin" and an "Aunt". She is my mother's youngest sister and there is an 18 year difference between them. There is only an 11 year difference between the two of us! So anyways, she and her husband have been expecting their first baby and the sex was going to be a surprise. I planned on leaving work, meeting with the organist at 5pm, and heading to the hospital to meet my new cousin. I was pretty surprised when I made it to the hospital around 5:30 and we still had no baby! I was very excited though because I got to listen at the door while he was being born! Very cool.

Last night Deaner's sister and two nephews flew into town because she and his mother are hosting a shower for us this weekend. We got to have dinner and visit which was nice. Tonight is his step-mother's 60th birthday and we are having dinner with the whole family to celebrate. Tomorrow will be full of shopping (Deaner just found out it is coat and tie at his new job--ha ha) and then the par-tay! Should be a fun weekend! More updates soon!

Sometimes........

While my friends were here for my bachelorette party this weekend I was treated to one of the funnier stories that I have heard in awhile. I know that it can't possibly come across as funny as it was in person listening to my friend Erin tell it, but I am hoping I don't butcher it.

As we were enjoying our dinner in the hot air balloon of Taxco, my friend Erin recounted a story of a recent dinner she and her husband enjoyed (I use the word enjoy loosely) at a Mexican restaurant in Nashville. Erin was consuming her favorite dish of a bean burrito and a side of beans. I know I know, dangerous. She said that as she scooped up the last bit of beans and was savoring the bite she was more than surprised to hear (and feel) a loud CRRRRRRUUUUUUUUNCH. She said that her heart almost stopped, as mine would have, and she could feel her heart beating in her throat. She spit out the mystery object and said it was small and white. Her first instinct was to say that it was a HUMAN TOOTH! I know, my stomach is churning right now just thinking of that possibility. You can imagine her relief when upon further inspection she realized that is was a ROCK. A small white rock just sitting there in her beans waiting to crack her tooth out. The story only gets funnier from here.

In attempts to calm her nerves she excused herself from the table and instructed her husband to "deal with the situation". When she came back from the bathroom the waiter still had not shown up. Steve (husband) proceeded to accidentally drop the rock on the floor but don't worry, he got down on his hands and knees to find it. The second that Steve left to use the restroom the waiter approached the table. The conversation went like this........(think Spanish accent):

Waiter: "Everything good for you tonight ma'am?"
Erin: "Well, actually we had a bit of a problem. I found this rock (produces rock) in my bean burrito and I bit down on it".
Waiter: "WHA?? A rock in your bean buuuuuuurittttto?? Oh no...ma'am.....I so sorry about that rock in your burritttoooo"!
Erin: "I just wanted to let you know in case it was a bad batch of beans and perhaps you needed to throw them all out" (read -- please comp my meal -- it is the least you can do)
Waiter: "I so so sorry ma'am but you know.......sometimes there are rocks in the beans".....
Erin: dumbfounded look. What the hell can this person mean "sometimes there are ROCKS in the beans"??

When Steve returned to pay the bill he took it to the front of the restaurant to the cash register. Erin said that she heard the manager of the restaurant ask about how their meal was. She was a little surprised when Steve didn't even MENTION the rock. (men!) She hurried up to the register where the following conversation took place:

Erin: "Everything WAS fine with dinner accept I feel like I need to let you know that there was a ROCK in my beans"!
Manager: "WHA??? Oh ma'am, I so sorry about that! Oh nooooo"
Erin: "Well, I just wanted you to know so that you could throw that batch of beans away".
Manager: "I so sorry ma'am but, well, you know, sometimes there are rocks in the beans"!
Erin: again, dumbfounded "WELL, THAT IS INTERESTING"!!!!!!!

Exit stage left. :) I got such a kick out of this. Can you imagine! That is disgusting but I could not stop laughing. I said that at least they were consistent with their story! Who wouldn't want a few rocks sprinkled into their beans? The moral of this story is life throws some curve balls, things aren't always perfect, and can't always go your way. Hey, shits happens, sometimes there are rocks in the beans!