Thursday, January 15, 2009

Consider me terrorist saavy.....

Today I got to perform my first task as the future spouse of a future civilian government employee living overseas. In a mere 48 minutes I was "trained" on how to handle various situations in the event that I encounter terrorist activity. I learned how to possibly identify a potential terrorist (who knew a terrorist could be the man next to you at the bus stop hiding behind his newspaper!?) and well as pointers on how to be unpredictable therefore avoiding my own kidnapping!

When I agreed to move overseas I was under the impression that I was moving to the safest places on earth. Well, I didn't feel so great after this online training course! I am really just teasing because I know where we are moving IS very safe and that the training I had to do was just protocol but it is scary to think that THAT was the training I received.

Basically the online training has succeeded in planting ideas in my head that no matter what, I am always going to remember. For starters, did you know the safest room in any given hotel is on the 4th floor, with a balcony, entry door opening to the interior, and close to the fire escape? With these attributes you will be far enough from the street should there be a car bomb, a fire truck's ladder will reach your balcony for escape, and interior entry in close proximity to the fire escape makes breaking in more difficult and escaping easier! Now there is an easy list to accommodate! I'd like to see the hotel clerk's face when I start to list my requirements. :) To make things a bit easier we can stay in a room all the way up to the 10th floor but that is the absolute highest a firetruck ladder will reach!!

I think that the most helpful pointer of the training was the advice bestowed upon me about how to handle the following situation: I am being held by a captor in a hotel room on a bed (ok, I guess it doesn't HAVE to be a hotel room). The question posed was what I should do in the event that my rescuer busted down the door to save me. Should I shout out to my rescuer OR make frantic arm gestures towards the rescuer OR quietly roll onto the floor beside the bed (I want to know why it was so specific that I was being held on a bed?) until the confrontation is over? And the correct answer is......ROLL TO THE FLOOR QUIETLY AND ALLOW THE CONFRONTATION TO PASS!! Easy enough! Who would have thought?

So I have pretty much concluded that over the next three years, if I follow all the rules, I will be doing a lot of tattling on innocent bystanders, not opening the door to men in utility uniforms, and frequently changing my schedule to keep potential kidnappers thrown off course. Now all I need to do is find a house to buy that isn't on a cul-de-sac, is close to a local police station, and allows for more than one route to work! Everyone should live like this! :)


Casey said...

If it makes you feel any better, I didn't even do that training. Jordan just clicked through it for me. The good news is- I am still alive. :)

You aren't moving to Iran, just Germany. You will be fine!

Oh, and when you get here, the commercials on TV will teach you SO much more. Check out AFN commercials on You Tube. Ugh.

Allison said...

I have to do that training like 4 times a year at work. Don't forget that if you see a door propped open with a suspicious looking package that has a white powdery substance and wires hanging should alert the authorities!! ;)

Anonymous said...

You can always email the FBI....and they will be there to help....and be very watchful of your neighbors...look for those white vans