Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Just When You Think......

Just when you think you have seen everything there is to see in the land of appalling, the universe goes and treats you to something you never could have imagined.  Take this four sided steel framed advertisement that is currently across the street from our apartment in Brussels for example.  Pretty innocent, right?  When Deaner and I arrived on Sunday afternoon we both took the chance to check out the views from our balcony.  They don't disappoint I might add with a perfect view of the Stock Exchange a couple blocks away.
I never would have noticed this eight foot tall structure with mundane advertisements on it.  I mean, who would?  Until Deaner called to me from the other room that "something very weird is going on out there" and I had to take a look for myself.  Upon further inspection nothing seemed out of the ordinary to me.  This was all I could see when I peered out the window.
Deaner: "I swear, I just saw two people inside of that advertisement thingie".

Me: "No way, I don't see anyone in there".

Deaner: "No, I saw them, there were two of them".

Me: "Well, what could they possibly be doing in there"?

Deaner: "I don't know, maybe it is covering a manhole and they are doing some work"

Me: "I guess, I don't even see anyone in there".

Deaner: "Or....maybe they are doing "IT".

Me: "Impossible".  (See?  The Germans really are starting to get to me assuming everything is impossible!)

Several moments of silence go by.  Passersby are just strolling by the structure like nothing is going.  I started to lose interest in Deaner's sighting when it happened.  Just like that, the canvas walls started shaking.

Me: "Oh. My. God.  You are right.  Someone IS in there and they ARE doing IT"!!

Deaner: "I KNEW IT".

Me:  "How are they going to get out when they are done"?

Deaner: "I have no idea, I didn't see them get there in the first place".

Several more moments of advertisement shaking.  Finally, I couldn't hold it any longer and announced I had to RUN to the bathroom.  As soon as I started to turn away Deaner yelled "THERE THEY ARE" to which I sprinted back.  I was greeted with laughter as he was just jerking me around.  I went to the bathroom for real this time only to have Deaner yell from the other room.

Deaner: "They are coming out!  THERE THEY ARE!  For real this time"

No way, I have got to get back to see this.  Ensue much running in slippery sandals and tripping over furniture to get to the window.  Sure enough there were two people, a GIRL and a BOY, no older than 15 years old, were attempting to extract themselves from said steel structure.  The boy was attempting to hoist the girl up and over the top but was failing on every attempt.  This was better than reality TV.

Me: "Holy crap.  They are never going to get out of there".

Deaner: "Well not that way at least, maybe they should tilt it from the bottom".

Sure enough the next approach was for the two to start tipping the structure on its side so one could crawl under to the safety of the streets.  I regret not having my camera for what happened next but during a very zealous round of structure tipping, in which multiple people were passing by, the two crazed love birds managed to knock the entire advertisement over, narrowly missing multiple passersby.    Two CHILDREN escaped out the bottom, quickly ran around and uprighted the tipped over advertisement and were on their way while smiling and laughing at each other.

Me: "Did that really just happen"?

Deaner: "They really could have hurt someone if that thing tipped over ON TOP of someone".

Me: "Did that really just happen"?

Call me a prude, call me an old lady, call me naive but I have a really hard time wrapping my head around witnessing such trashy behavior.  I was recently asked, along with several other women, how I would handle discussing the "birds and the bees" with my child when the time eventually came.  With Evans being 23 months old I plead the fifth and put the issue, impossibly far in the future, out of my head.  I'm not sure how, and I'm not sure when, but when the time does come I'll have to make it very clear that behavior like that is disgusting.  Get a room.  Oh wait, you probably have to be at least 16 to do that.  At least figure out an extraction plan that doesn't involve potential injury to others BEFORE entering a steel structure to get it on.  Check out the arial views that others might have of you.  And for God's sake, no one wants to see your private life like that.  Now run along home and do your homework or something.


Shannon said...

This is one of the funniest things I have read in a while - absolutely hilarious!