Thursday, February 28, 2013

A Little Incident.........

Behold.  This obsessive complusive's best friend.  It's no Dyson but this trusty LG has been with me for the last three years and was a very welcome relief after my old German pull behind that it replaced.  Unfortunately tomorrow this old friend goes to the dump.  Yesterday afternoon as I was settling onto my comfortable bed to read my book while Evans napped (my very favorite time of day) I could not have been more relaxed.  Unfortunately the dust bunnies underneath my bedroom dresser caught my eye and God knows my blood pressure wasn't going to return to normal until I had vacuumed those suckers up.  You'd think that as experienced of a vacuum cleaner that I am, the rookie mistake I made would never have happened.  In a fit of using my attachment nozzle to get all the way to the wall I accidentally ran over the cord, which was promptly sucked up into the motor and chewed to shreds.  But not before the vacuum blew up, made an awful noise and shorted out the electricity in our whole house.  I think I just stood there in disbelief, amidst a cloud of dust and dirt, for several minutes while surveying the damage.  Here were my thoughts, in order, in the following seconds.
1.  Oh my god, what just happened?

2.  Oh my god, there is dirt ALL over the room, all over my face, in my eyes AND in my clean hair.

3.  Holy s*#t, I think my vacuum cleaner is a goner.

4.  Why are all the lights in the house off?

5.  Did every single piece of dirt just land back on my bedroom carpet?

6.  What in the world am I going to do?

7.  We cannot afford to buy ANOTHER vacuum cleaner.

8.  Deaner is going to kill me.

So after the dust settled (literally) I was able to collect my thoughts.  I hauled the old German pull behind vacuum out of the basement only to find that it didn't work either.  Awesome.  I resorted to a broom and a dust pan and SWEPT my carpet.  Even more awesome.  When I was finished, I hauled both broken vacuums back downstairs to be loaded into the car for the dump.  Then it dawned on me that I hadn't flipped the breaker yet which would explain the German vacuum not working.  I think the dust really affected my brain.

I'm trying to put the incident behind me.

If anyone can convince my husband to buy me a new vacuum...........I'd be much obliged.

Friday, February 22, 2013

Fasching 2013

So I might be a week (or almost two) late but I have too many cute pictures not to go ahead with a quick Fasching post.  I don't know how we have never really gotten into the German version of Mardi Gras in the past but as far as I recall, this is only our second time actively participating in the annual parades.  Of course it is more fun when you have a child to dress up (it does take the pressure off yourself) but have a dressed up child to deal with in a crowd of people.  Anyways.  This year we had a GREAT time.  It would have been even greater if the temperature had risen above 20 degrees but you can't win them all.  Our little tiny town of Hattenheim actually had a rather large parade this year.  While we faced a little bit of technical difficulty this year (we stood in front of our house which ended up being the end of the line) once the parade reached us (like two hours later) it was a lot of fun. Evans and his bud Brady had a blast watching the floats pass by our house.
Daddy had another chance to bust out the Man With The Yellow Hat costume and I was perfectly content in my non-descript down jacket and jeans.  Surprisingly, Evans and Brady mostly stayed in their seats and let the parade walkers come and place candy on their laps.  Not to bad of a deal if you ask me.  
I think Brady had the warmest costume of all though he was mistaken for a girl a few times.  I don't think it bothered him! 
I would have worn the pig costume by the time we were nice and frozen waiting on the parade to make the loop in front of our house but Ashley and I managed alright.  Though you can't tell in the least, Ashley is seven months pregnant.  Sadly, our super tactful German neighbor asked if I was the one pregnant.  I guess I had on too many layers and I might be burning this coat shortly.  (yeah, that was it)!

Sunday was even colder but we bundled up again and headed to the "big" parade in downtown Wiesbaden.  The floats were much more sophisticated and when we left 2.5 hours later there was no end in sight.  
It was a beautiful day and honestly I couldn't remember the last time we saw blue sky and the sun before last Sunday.  
We had a few small incidents with Evans "accidentally" throwing the bouncy balls that he caught which caused a couple minor breakdowns but thankfully there was a lot of loot to be caught.  I was assaulted in the noggin more than one time and if anyone is wanting parade popcorn, please come to our house.  By the time we were ready to call it quits, Evans was D-O-N-E with the parade.
I knew we were in trouble when he would suck on a pop pop for 2 minutes and then demand a new one.    I think that both Evans and Deaner have gotten their money's worth out of these Halloween costumes. 
I suppose now I am not only responsible for finding Evans a costume every year.  Of all the loot caught this year there was a clear winner to the most creative piece of candy.  Brady caught one of these in Hattenheim on Saturday and when I was going through our stash I found one of our very own.
I'm almost positive this a gummy butt.  With ears.  A butt with ears.  Need I really say more?  Can't wait for next year!  

Monday, February 18, 2013

Jealous? I Didn't Think So.....

As I was scrolling through Facebook today I couldn't help but notice all my friends who are currently in tropical locations.  My sister is lounging around the sandy white beaches of Mexico along with about 567 of my other friends.  So, I just wanted to post our weather forecast, here in Germany, for the next week.  Don't be jealous or anything.  Not everyone can live in a place that has such a stunning, low lying, steel gray cloud cover 98% of the time.  I suppose I should be feeling joy at the fact that I don't see any snow in this forecast but I don't really.  This is because despite my iPhone knowing just about all there is to know about everything, it never quite gets the weather right.  Last Friday we woke up to several inches of snow on the ground with no warning at all that it was coming.  But don't worry, this doesn't work the other way around.  There is virtually zero chance of this forecast being inaccurate the other way around.  There will be no sunshine this week.  Whilst it appears that half of the Facebook population is acquiring golden brown suntans I can only brag about the iridescent translucent glow that my skin is taking on.  It's pretty sad when I tell Evans it is time to leave for school and he looks at me and says "mittens, please Mama"?

So all you peeps sunning yourself in beautiful places.....good for y'all.  I'm not bitter.  I swear.  When I dream at night I am here....Lounging on a beach in Tamarindo, Costa Rica
Or in Lake Como, Italy.....
Or in Rome.......
Or in Santorini......(I WAS there but I cannot show my seven month [at the time] pregnant face)
Or out in the middle of the mediterranean in Cyprus.
Dear God, I wouldn't mind waking up tomorrow in late May.  Thanks, Sarah

Thursday, February 7, 2013

American Idol

Ok.  It is taking a lot for me to even admit that I have been watching this show.  I think it sort of proves how slim the pickings are over on this side of the pond but none the less, Deaner and I have been tuning in via British Sky Satellite.  I have to say that my attention is more than likely going to start dwindling now that the "tryout" stage of the competition is over because once the singers are "decent" there isn't very much that is fun about this show.  Just a few observations from me thus far this year.....

1.  Randy Jackson (give or take 100 pounds) is exactly the same as ever.

2.  Not that I have ever paid that much attention to Mariah Carey in my life but when did her boobs get to be the size of boulders?  She must have an aching back at the end of every day.

3.  I am pretty sure Ryan Seacrest has gotten tinier.  I think I could fit him in my pocket.

4.  Who is Nicki Minaj?  I mean, where did she come from?  I've never even heard of her and she sounds like Fran Drescher.  All that being said, she is like the only funny judge on the show.  Her commentary cracks me up along with her absurd outfits.  EEK!

5.  Keith Urban is kind of a pansy.  I'm just saying.  I wish he would stop singing along with these contestants tryouts.  It's THEIR time to shine.  You already have four grammies.

6.  This next statement goes for all the judges.  This is an issue every. single. year.  There is no such thing as 110%.  There is no such thing as 1,000%.  There is no such thing as 1,500,394,398%.  I will never understand this.  100% is as high. as. it. goes.

7.  It had to have been a joke that they let that woman thru last week that sang the National Anthem.  I still don't get it.  Anyways.

I guess that is all I have to say about American Idol.  Frankly, it is more than I ever thought I would have to say about it ever in my whole life.  I suppose I have another week or so before I completely stop watching it.  In other news, Evans has finally gotten the hang of the German Monkey Joe's-like indoor playground.
Since Monkey Joe's in Atlanta nearly killed me a year ago I'm always hesitant to bring Evans to the German version, Rambazamba.  Especially since I am right there with him climbing up these structures lest someone get stuck up at the top (not me).  But at our birthday party on Tuesday, Evans finally grasped the concept and was happy to do everything by himself.  THANK GOD.
I can't wait to take him back next week now that I can pull up a chair and watch.  Leave the strep for the child!
Anyplace that insures a three hour afternoon nap is worth the chance!  Happy Thursday!

Monday, February 4, 2013

St. Lightning McQueen

I feel like I need to give a personal shout out to our good friend Lightning McQueen for single handedly bringing peace to our jet lagged routine ravaged household.  I knew Evans was obsessed with the Disney movie Cars when he watched it FOUR times on our flight back to the States in December.  I had no idea just how obsessed until these Cars diecast cars allowed us 12 hours of sleep a night again.  Last week Deaner and I were pretty much at the end of ropes with Evans and his nighttime antics.  I knew he couldn't possibly still be out of whack time zone wise but there was no doubt in my mind that this Christmas vacation is what was causing our issues.  During a routine trip to the toy store on the base to pick up a birthday party gift last week I made the huge tactical error of parking the cart in front of a display of these Cars while I ran to pick something else up.  BIG mistake.  After 15 minutes of explaining to a two year old that he could not have anymore cars under any circumstances, we left with four.  I know I know, we are either going to have to limit our strolls through the toy store after lunches with Dad OR learn to say no a little more effectively.  However, this was the best $20 ever spent in Toy Land.  Evans hasn't made a ruckus, has not fought us and has not cried at nap time or bed time since.  Don't think I haven't had my mother-in-law at the Disney Store in Atlanta buying up every character we don't already have.  And then filled in online at Amazon.  I'll use these babies as bribes at every turn of the road.  I am not above anything when it comes to sleeping normal hours.

Lightning McQueen really is working overtime in our house.  I have not really thought much about potty training yet with Evans because it isn't even 2.5 yet and frankly, I can't think of anything more inconvenient for me.  Nice huh?  But really, we are out and about so much that I can only imagine the horrors of it all.  Anyways, we were recently out and came across some Cars toddler briefs that we went ahead and bought for E.  We haven't been super consistent but on the days that I have been home and let him wear them, he has not had an accident.
I realize that when you put your child on the potty every 20-30 minutes you don't allow them much margin for error but for a child who had never once been on the potty before, I've been pretty impressed the past few days.  Today he sported some Finn McMissle underwear, or, his "finn missle pants".  I guess we will see how that continues to go.  I'm not brave enough to take him out of the house with them on.

In other news, the big new sport to play in our house resembles lacrosse.
It is played with a miniature soccer ball and my hand strainer.  It makes for a very exciting sport when played in socks on the marble floors.  As y'all can tell, not a ton of very exciting things have been happening around here.  It might be time for me to paint a room or something.

Well, Madeline is almost over and tonight is my night for bath/bedtime duty.  We have a birthday party to go to in the morning and then I'm counting on a nice long nap time.  I love the things that I plan ahead for!  Happy Monday to everyone!