Wednesday, August 15, 2012

DIY Disaster 2012

If you had told me before the beginning of the week that your job profession was that of a Benjamin Moore "color specialist" I might not have laughed in your face, but I probably would have made fun of you behind your back.  I mean, who needs to employ someone to tell them what colors to paint on their walls?  Can't everyone close their eyes and use their imagination to  come up with the perfect color combinations?  Ummm, to answer those questions quite frankly, ME and NO.

I realize now that while I have always had excellently chosen colors wherever I've lived (minus that one time on Park Circle, but really that was my roommates fault) it is solely because I typically walk into my parent's home, write down all their paints colors and completely rip them off.  Right down to the name and brands that they have used.  I've always thought my Mom had the most exquisite taste and everything in her house is always perfect.  As I was relaying this firmly held belief to her today on the phone I almost dropped dead when she said "oh yeah, my colors do look always look awesome, my COLOR SPECIALIST tells me what will and won't work".  Wait a second, what??  Am I the only person in the world that didn't realize that this a real profession and a true talent?

Talk about a reality check.  Here is what happened when I didn't use a color specialist and didn't use my mom's color specialist (with or without knowing he/she existed).  I'm almost embarrassed to show this.  I would look up an example of what I was trying to achieve but to be honest, I'm too sick of looking at paint colors to do it.  Here it goes.

The hideous color on the right was a blinding neon picked out clearly in total disregard of all the red flags.  To think that I was actually relieved to see the color on the left is utterly embarrassing. When I woke up the next morning and finally came to my senses I realized that I could not, in fact, live inside of an Easter egg.  Here are the remaining problems:

1. I have no idea what I am going to do.

2. I am such an idiot that I actually painted these large chunks on the wall so I have to do something.  I cannot pretend like it didn't happen.

3. My father-in-law is coming to visit next week so I can't act like I don't see it (this is not the only spastic splotch).

4. I'm having a party for Evans' 2nd birthday next weekend so again, I can't pretend like it isn't there.

Why do I always do this to myself?  The scary part is, I'm not very highly motivated to fix it either.  So, as I go to bed tonight, I should probably ponder on some of the lessons to be learned in this "situation". I know one thing, I will never laugh at "color specialists" again and I probably have a better chance of going back to school and becoming a doctor than achieving that profession!


Hatton said...

I stole all of our paint colors from Dorothy Draper's from the Greenbrier.