The Incident Report

I was pretty excited this morning when I dropped Evans off for school and had minimal drama.  The crying has all but stopped except for that split second when he realizes I'm sneaking towards the door.  I am really starting to like his teachers and I feel a hundred times more comfortable leaving him there then I did where he was going before he started this program.  I also think they baby him a bit which I have no problem with since he is BY FAR the youngest child in the class.  Besides, who couldn't love that face?  (I'm just kidding, slap me, I really hate it when parents say crap like that).  Anyways.  This morning after school drop off I headed to a MOPS (mothers of preschoolers) meeting that I have just started going to every other week.  I always try and keep my phone on me when E is at school just in case they need to reach me for anything.  We had an instance in Atlanta when I had to pick him up early because he had a fever and I just like to be reachable when he is not with me.  When I checked my phone part way thru this meeting I was shocked to see that I had a missed call and message from Evans' school.  Here is exactly what the message said:

"Hi, Mrs. Deaner, this is blah mer mah, I'm calling from building #*$, where you came in to see the Director for your son's, Richard's, his, Richard, errr, or Evans you call him, at the #*$.  Just to let you know we are obliged to call when there is a hit injury.  And it's NOT a problem we just wanted to let you know that while he was playing, a friend mistook one of their toys, and it flew towards his head and he has a, err, little red swelling there, but he's okay, it's going away, and they put an ice pack there, cleaned it up and gave him TLC of course they will let you know, but this is just to let you know, this is a courtesy call and if you need to call to find out anything further please call us at XXXXXX and we will get more information to you or if you would like to see him.  Otherwise he seems to be doing fine. Thank you very much.  Bye."

Now seriously, I just sat here and transcribed this message word for word and I cannot stop laughing.  I can't say that I found it as entertaining when I first listened to it because I was slightly more concerned in the moment for my potentially concussed child.  Which is y'alls favorite part?  Personally I like how the other child, the "friend", "mistook" one of the toys and it "flew towards Evans' head".  Hmmmm.

When I arrived to pick Evans up (and no, I did not feel the need to see him, frankly I probably wouldn't have even put ice on it myself) he was perfectly happy and playing though he did point to his head multiple times.  The teacher was VERY concerned about the "incident" and asked if I could please review the INCIDENT REPORT!  Waaa?  An incident report?  These kids are two years old!  I mean, I don't find it funny that my son was hurt but when the teacher told me that Evans was minding his own business, reading a book when a little girl hurled a large hard plastic PONY at his head and that he "DIDN'T HAVE A CHANCE", I had to chuckle a bit.  I mean, I'm sorry, that's funny.  Poor kid neva. hada. chance.

Just out of curiosity as I was signing all the "hit incident reports" (which I really hope I can get a copy of for the baby book) I asked what would happen to the actual "perp" of the hit incident.  I was vaguely aware that they don't punish the children with timeouts and I was genuinely interested.  I did not expect the teacher to respond with "oh, we do not tolerate this sort of behavior and if it happens again, she will be suspended".  SUSPENDED?  Are you kidding me?  I know I wasn't there and that perhaps there have been other "assaults by equine" but suspension of a two year old from part time toddler preschool seemed a little extreme.  I mean, it could be Evans attacking with that same pony next week and I would DIE if my child got suspended from school for something like that.  Or, I might think it is funny.......until I have to stay home with him all day long!  :)

Bottom line, I'm pretty laid back about things like this.  I would never demand to know which child it was that hit him or complain that something more should have been done.  I was never upset and I was mildly amused.  I am definitely relieved that E was not the "hitter" and I don't think he will be suffering any long term negative effects from the hit incident.  If push ever came to shove I think Evans could handle himself and if not, I might just suggest that he start wearing that plastic football helmut again.  Can't wait for school on Friday!