Wednesday, June 20, 2012

The Tides Are Turning

Nice pajamas, huh?  Clearly Mama was not responsible for bath and bedtime the night before.  Unfortunately the behavior being exhibited in this household the past couple of weeks is quite like these pajamas.  BAD.  Anyone recall the red headed kid in Problem Child?  See any resemblance?  I remember the days when I would see other mothers struggling with children acting out and think "thank god my child is so well behaved, polite and cute".  Evans has always been exceptionally well behaved in his 22 month existence and I've never had any trouble taking him along with me for my adult errands.  Until he started emitting a low decibel sound, otherwise known as his whining, on very frequent occasions.  The whining is driving me insane.  Something about the tone of it makes me want to strangle someone (obviously not him!).  We are also having severe sharing issues.  Recently we have befriended our across the street neighbors as they have a little boy Evans' age.  Last week Evans and I invited them over for a play date.  It was interesting to say the least.  And not in a good way.  The only toys that Evans wanted to play with were the ones that the other little boy was already playing with.  Over and over and over.  Then the whining started.  I was pretty sure we would not be getting another invitation to play anytime soon.  Surprisingly, we were invited to attend a little toddler class at the school around the corner on Monday.  Evans was the ONLY child that would not follow the directions.  My friend tried to make me feel better by pointing out that the directions were in German and perhaps he couldn't understand them but I'm not operating under the illusion that he would have followed them any better in English.

Germans are definitely a rule following society and the children are no different.  At the end of the class everyone sat in a circle and quietly sang a song with hand motions before each getting a gummy bear.  I wouldn't have expected Evans to know the German song (duh) but I would have hoped for better.  I spent this time wrestling to keep Evans in my lap or chasing him out of the equipment closet where he wanted to play with the "ball-ccchts".  

My new neighbor friend could not be more kind.  Even after these two "little incidents" she STILL picked up the paper work from the German kindergarten for me to apply Evans.  Apparently there is a very long waiting list and for us to have a chance at getting him in when he turns THREE we have to get on the waiting list now.  She helped me fill everything out and today walked with Evans and me up to the school to hand deliver it to the principal.  It was really a horrible scene.  It was raining, my other neighbor very stupidly let Evans out of his stroller after he was already strapped in (which of course resulted in his refusal to get back in, thus having to walk with him holding my hand - yeah right).  I'll spare the details except for one.  On our way home Evans decided that he only wanted to walk in the wrong direction.  He freaked when I picked him up and went all wet noodle on me so that he slithered out of my arms and on to the ground.  There, he proceeded to kick and scream, while lying in a PUDDLE and bonking his head on the concrete.  I just stood there.  When I asked my friend if her son ever did this I was met with a very calm, "no".  My how the Germans are perfect.

Did I mention I am taking a 10.5 hour flight with Evans in the morning?

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

My Kind of Funny

So I have to admit that when I am trolling around on Pinterest these days, these e-cards are constantly making me laugh.  Out loud.  How can there seriously be so many funny ones that I feel are speaking directly to me?  Sometime over the past two months I have developed a very  debilitating "something" in both my feet which actually makes it very hard to walk without pain.  I'm assuming that it is tendinitis but I would have figured that it would have gone away by now.  I've even agreed that I have to go to a doctor when we are in Atlanta.  Our house has all marble floors and by the end of the day going up and down the stairs 398473 times my feet would hurt anyway, but this is on a new level.  When I showed Deaner this comic a couple days ago he might have had his most brilliant idea ever.  Why don't I dig my Crocs out of the bottom of the closet and wear them around the house and see if they help?  Genius.  I can now go down the stairs again without having to turn to the side and go one at a time.  It's a huge improvement.  And I'd like to ask, who can resist a girl wearing these on their feet?
I might even be wearing socks with them.  And pink sweatpants.  And have a frog "widget" stuck in my left shoe which Evans keeps calling a "doggy".  So I don't know what the lady above is talking about because I'm pretty sure that someone is going to tell me that I have a nice lookin' pair of Crocs!  Several other e-cards have spoken to me and here they are in no particular order:  (Please, if you have delicate eyes, stop reading now.  The language is atrocious yet completely perfect).
Skinny feels good but dessert recipes on Pinterest taste better.
Somehow this seems to happen to me once every two or three weeks.  I think it has to do with all the traveling during the week for Deaner's job.  I've also been known to have to think very hard what which month it is.  I do realize it is 2012.
Need I say more?  It probably hasn't been five WHOLE years and sometimes I think really hard about going until I actually feel badly about it.  Just not bad enough to actually go.
I don't think it is too much to ask at all.  And I love the dramatics of the comic characters.
Not that ALL my friends drink too much, swear too much or have questionable morals........just my favorite ones.  :)  If you are a friend of mine and think you don't fall into this category, don't be insulted, just try and remember all the way back to our college days and/or mid-twenties.  Did you go to Ole Miss with me?  Live on Allen Road?  I'm positive you can find something that will drop you into this category.
I feel like this a lot.  The problem is that I usually choose to go ahead and clean.  Again.  And again.  And then again.  Someone slap me.
This last one goes out to my sister and to my mother.  The real question that runs through my head every single time I'm in the check out line at Target is, "why do I NOT have a target red card"?  I mean, it's just a check card, exactly like the Visa I just swiped and I would get 5% back on EVERYTHING?  I could have been a millionaire by now.  Oh wait.....  My second thought is always something along the lines of "wait a second, where did all this stuff come from?  I only came here for 1 thing.  Did I really decide to buy that dress?  Do I really need 24 new pairs of socks?  Thank god you can now buy beer on Sundays!  Uhhh, I swear I put all ten of those item that were just scanned back.  Evans really does need that new lake float.  I'll use this for years.  My total is WHAT???  Nah, I don't want to sign up for 5% back red card".  The next time my mom and I are looking for an afternoon outing I should probably "just say no" to Target.  I lose all financial sensibility when the cold air conditioning hits my face thru the red sliding doors.  At least I have those super cute new pajama pants to throw on the floor when I get into bed at night.  Mom and Amelia, I'll be home in 8 days, please stand by.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

A Case Of The Mimi's

I do believe that we are having a full blown case of the Mimi's here in the Deaner household.  If you cannot relate to this problem I would like you to invite you into my house for a couple hours to experience first hand what it is like when Aunt Mimi the Spoiler has to return home.  It is current 9:23pm and I'm listening to Evans holler up in his bed because after a week with Mimi, we would probably be nowhere near bedtime if she were still here.  In a stroke of great luck (for me at least, I doubt my brother-in-law would agree) my sister was able to come visit for the past ten days.  I was supposed to have a sorority sister in town from NYC but at the last second it fell apart.  Fortunately I was able to dangle promises of hugs and snuggles from Evans and it was enough to make Mimi take the bait.  She flew in 48 hours later.  Score.  Of course she was greeted by grey skies and rain but really, what else do you expect from Germany?  It cleared up though in plenty of time for us to enjoy the Wilhelmstrasse Festival with a bunch of our friends.  We left the house at 3:45p with promises to our awesome babysitter that we would be home by 9:00p.  Let's just say that didn't happen.  Monday we headed to our home away from home, Brussels.  I'd say that I have probably been here about 25 times now and it is a good thing that I like the city.  It was WAY more fun to have another adult there to explore with!  Evans and I hit up the same old places when it is just the two of us but Amelia and I actually got to go inside churches and scout out new restaurants!  
Of course, please don't expect any pictures from these churches and very historical educational places because I seem to only have pictures from the most touristy fountain outside the Trevi.  I think when we leave Europe for good I will be able to compile a scrapbook solely of pictures with our little peeing friend.  Also note the klassy beer cans we are toting.
I hate that this picture turned out blurry but I think that is definitely shows the degree of attention that Evans was used to all week.  I have to call Mimi out for totally blaming Evans for this.....
And then running away from her party foul but I don't think that Evans minded since he was pretty busy with the massive lollipop I bought him.  I swear it wasn't after 9pm when I handed it to him.
I may or may not have also given him the purple one.  Whatever it takes right?  I believe that this evening finally concluded after both Amelia and Deaner purchased rather large oil paintings from a very obnoxious woman (who we have purchased from before and who had the nerve to call me argumentative, pfffft!) and Amelia pointed out it was raining and after 11pm.  Sorry E, when in Rome......The rest of the week was filled with some traditional German fun.  No one can ever resist the awesomeness of the wine stand.  Wine?  Everyday?  On the Rhein?  Oh alright!
Amelia was also lucky enough to have me coerce her into coming right as the Euro Cup 2012 was kicking off.  This only happens every four years however Deaner and I were here on vacation in 2008 to experience this.  The World Cup is every four years as well but zippers in with the Euro Cup so every two years, we get to experience this.....
It's none other than a projection screen set up on the river with several wineries set up serving the crowds.  Personally I don't understand how these rowdy Germans get together to watch a soccer match and sip white wine but hey, I'm not above bringing my own cooler of beer.  The last time the World Cup was set up here I was 8 months pregnant with Evans and didn't get to enjoy it nearly as much.  While I might refuse to wear Germany garb for fear of looking like a stupid American, Evans specially requested to and I finally acquiesced.  It's easy to see how excited he was for me to be dressing him like this.  
It might have been a little too much for his first Germany game but tomorrow is another day.  Seriously.  Germany plays again tomorrow.  I'm pretty sure that no matter how hard he begs, I will not allow another tattoo on the face as the first one is just now completely off his face.  

So all in all Aunt Mimi's trip was a big hit.  Evans and I dropped her off at the airport on Monday morning and we have both been missing her.  Evans glared at her suitcase when she brought it downstairs on Monday morning and didn't want to have anything to do with her because he was MAD.  We have had a lot of questions about where Mimi is so it is probably a very good thing that all the Deaners are following her to Atlanta next week!  Heading to Atlanta for a three week vacation next Thursday and cannot wait!  For now, Happy Tuesday!  

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Rockin Cyprus 2012

Does anyone know where Cyprus is actually located? When Deaner asked me if I wanted to go on vacation for a long weekend to a beach in the Eastern Mediterranean he didn't have to wait long for a very positive affirmative. I've always been a beach kinda gal and having been in chilly Germany for the past 12 weeks all I needed to hear was the adjective "warm". I haven't ever researched the island of Cyprus in the past but I think I always associated it with being very similar to Greece. So imagine my surprise when I happened to glance at our tickets a day or two before we left only to notice a 4 hour and 4 minute flight duration? Ok, no worries, there must be a time change that the airline didn't factor in (because this happens all the time, right??) and surely this was only a 2 hour and 4 minute flight, or, at worst, a 3 hour and 4 minute flight. Upon further inquiry my husband informed me that not only was Cyprus "not exactly like Greece", it was also practically in the middle east! I had no clue that we would be sandwiched between Turkey and Egypt and a stones throw to the west of Syria, Israel, Lebanon and Iraq. Ok, ok, so I would have had to throw the stone pretty far to Iraq but still. It is probably the farthest I've ever been away from home. I think Deaner would have beaned me if I'd asked one more time if we could pop over to Beirut for the afternoon. Evans did great on the flight although I am afraid that the 6:00a flight was enough to stress him out.But honestly, who doesn't get stressed out by the chaos that is RyanAir? If it didn't cost pennies to fly, I don't think I could put up with it. At least he could roll with the punches.This kid has stayed in more hotels than anyone I know and he seems to love it. We had a massive private patio with our own jacuzzi, however, one of the (many) quirks we found with this hotel was that the patio was not enclosed. Who does that? I'm convinced that when this supposed 4 star hotel was built in 2008, the owners/builders ran out of money at about 85% finished, yet went ahead with opening anyways. I couldn't complain about the views or amenities (clearly)but I did take issue with not being able to contain Evans. Balconies/Patios are just meant to have RAILINGS.

Even if you are over budget. One afternoon while Deaner and I were in the jacuzzi (Evans was sleeping) not one, but FOUR hotel maintenance people showed up on our deck to paint a pipe running down the side of the building. Uhhhh, with all the other cosmetic issues with this hotel, I did have to wonder why they chose to dispatch four employees to paint a pipe that didn't even face anywhere that anyone could possibly see. WHILE guests were actively enjoying the patio. Oh well. During Evans' waking hours we spent most of our time at the pool and the beach.

Sounds relaxing, right? Wrong. Evans was all over the place and basically all he wanted to do was run up and down the beach. Chasing his beach ball. That blew away at the slightest of breezes (in hindsight, this was probably not the smartest purchase). Not exactly my idea of a relaxing vacation. We have wondered out loud on more than one occasion since then if it would be totally ridiculous to bring our babysitter with us next time. To watch our one child. A little sad, no? I think these are the two shots I got when he sat down for around 30 seconds.

I'm convinced he only sat still for this amount of time so that he could cover himself in sand and then require that I pick him up for some reason or another. I was quite exfoliated at the end of each day. Really though, we couldn't have been any luckier with what a great traveler Evans is. He is delightful dinner company, when properly bribed, and we are always able to enjoy our evenings out to dinner.

The ipad is pretty much the greatest thing ever invented and it's actually scary to me how well Evans can play the games that Deaner has loaded for him. A little monster feeding does go a long way! Cyprus was definitely different from what I was expecting but I think we would return again (hopefully with a Grannie or a nanny)

finally.......the one picture that proves we were all three on vacation together at the same time.
**Disclaimer -- I realize that these pictures are formatted horribly but I've spent two days fighting with Blogger over it and I cannot for the life of me figure out what the problem is. Any and all tips welcome. It's driving me bonkers.